Damn missionary people
Dear Mormon robots,
It seems that on a bi-weekly basis you come through in case anyone's changed their silly little minds and wants to convert after all. Seriously, your inability to take "no" for an answer or "no solicitors" as meaning "yeah you, asshole" doesn't bode well for your keen marketing plan. So, as I deal with a ringing phone in my private residence, you lean on the doorbell. How quaint. Surely if I must not have heard you, or I would have rushed to the door to answer your bidding toot sweet! Next time you're ignored, perhaps it would not be a great idea to tell your partner in slime as you slither off, "those damn people won't answer the door." Such language! What Would Joseph Smith Say?
for the NNAF
8 comments:
Oh, oh, your post has triggered a long-building anti-religious hypocrisy rant. But I won't take your comment space to do that.
I hope that the next time they come calling, you remind them of their slur and inform them you'd never join such a religion. Maybe they wouldn't come back.
Oh, I've been thinking about that one. :) As you suggested, I could ask them to tell me their stance on swearing (especially if it's the same ones!). Or their stance on people who answer doorbells half-dressed, with a wad of shit-covered toilet paper in one hand, so as not to keep the intruders waiting! I suppose thinking about it will be half the fun!
You get Mormon missionaries? I'm so jealous! I was just thinking the other night what fun it would be to deprogram a couple of hapless white-shirted shit-eating-grin Mormons if they showed up at MY door.
By the way, I wanted to comment earlier but blogspot was having a sneezing fit or something.
I'm never up for that. I'd rather be picking my nose. :) My husband would talk to them. Heck, he'd talk to anyone. The folly of religion fascinates him. I think it just puts us on their radar.
Heh - I love Mormon missionaries. I invite them in, give them lemonade and talk to them for hours. Jehovah's Witnesses too.
So far I have a far better conversion rate then they do. I was so successful in TN that the local JW's still won't send anyone to my old house, even though I haven't lived there in eight years. The current owners are mystified but grateful as the JW's work down the street, and skip right over them.
That's quite a skill, perpetual! Perhaps you could visit my house and rid it of the evil doorbell demons for 8 years!
The trick is to engage the debate with the least convertible of the group (they almost always run in pairs or more). Always be reasonable, and argue in good faith (this can be very tough, as the person you're debating with probably won't be). The person most likely to be persuaded is the observer, not the debater, but if you debate the more open-minded ones, then the other acts as a watchdog, and will drag them off if it looks like you're getting through. That can work too for the purpose of keeping them away, but if you convert one of their young people away from X, they will never be back.
Of course it helps greatly that I adore theological debate, have a strong biology background (for those evolution moments), and was raised by a woman who would be polite to the Gestapo as they dragged her out the door.
Oh -and if your door is anywhere near mine, I'd be happy to give it a shot. There aren't enough door-to-door missionaries around here, I'm getting out of practice.
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