The Shrill Chronicles

Today KakaMak rants about an experience where crappy "customer service" causes her to lose it in a retail establishment:

All the way home I keep thinking how much I hate that I will probably be the topic of tonight's dinner conversation for them. "This hysterical woman came in today and..."

This is what it boils down to. It feels like one big set-up. You know, you just know, that in the end it will only serve to enforce their stereotype and fuel their bigotry.

It reminded me of a similar exchange a while back. Purely in the interest of not flooding Kaka's comment thread with the meandering tale, I share it here:

I was looking for a cheap but decent digital camera as a present for my son at Target*. I spot a $99 Canon in the display case, and note from the abbreviated description card next to it that it is a 4 megapixel with 3x digital zoom. I ask to look at it, push some buttons and check it out, decide to buy. The guy pulls a box from the supply below the counter and rings me up.

A day later I decide to give the camera a pre-wrapping once-over, checking for battery needs and such. I open the box to find the batteries are already in the camera. They are dead. I put some of my own batteries in and turn it on. 7 pictures of some teenager show up on the screen. So, I got a previously purchased and used camera, where no one bothered to check batteries or delete photos.

No big deal, I figure. I start deleting the photos so my son does not start up his "new" camera with someone else's pic already on it, and something seems different. The cheap toggle button on the back is different than the one on the camera in the display case. I can't find the zoom, because it's set up differently on this camera from the one I tried out in the store. I wonder if I've lost my mind until I come across something that says it's a 2 megapixel, not 4. I'm not crazy, but I will soon make a scene.

I go to the return counter at Target and tell them the story. I tell them that the camera I was given was not the same one I said I wanted to purchase at the camera counter. A supervisor is called in, who tells me to leave the camera at the return counter, go back to the camera department and find the right one, and they'll do an exchange. If I cannot find the right camera, I'd be charged a 15% restocking fee.

20 minutes spent in camera resulted in no cameras in stock, so I headed back up front to the return counter. I told the supervisor that there were no cameras, that I wanted to return this one, and that I should not have to pay a restocking fee because of their mistake. This is where it got ugly. Over and over the supervisor told me I'd have to pay a restocking fee. Or, I could call every morning to "see" if they get the camera in stock. Not that it means it would be the right camera, of course. I told her no, that's ridiculous, it's a gift, I am not paying them $15 for having to come back to this store and return it because I was sold the wrong camera. I questioned what a restocking fee covers, if not checking a return for previous use and dead batteries. Back and forth it went for 15 minutes, me trying to get the facts into her head, her standing firm on the damn "restocking fee".

Then it happened. She told me I didn't have to raise my voice.

Holy shit. It was not going to be, "I know you're upset at our moronic policy that does not take moronic employees who screw up into account, and I am going to find a way to make this work out for you, so you no longer need to raise your voice from "polite" to "stern" because I decided to finally listen!" It was, "You do not need to raise your voice" as she looked over my shoulder, because by this time half the checkout employees and assorted customers are paying attention, and will realize how hard it is to get this store to correct their own mistake without charging the customer for it.

So, after 35 minutes, she decides to actually come out from behind the counter and go back to camera with me, with the camera I bought this time, to see if one is in stock. Another 10 minutes is wasted while SHE searches, and yup, the camera is not in stock. Since we have the one I bought with us, I take the opportunity to point out to her how the picture on the box, the camera inside it, and the display camera all look exactly the same on the front. What's the deal? I walk her through it as I inspect. Ah, here it is: the model number on the display camera is something like 3605, and on the box it is 3605, with a "b" after it. "B" apparently meaning shittier toggle buttons and 2 megapixels less than you thought you were getting.

She nods, says nothing, walks away, scans the bar code on the camera, makes some phone call, comes back, and wordlessly has me follow her to the front of the store. "Ha, take that!" I think.

Then, when we get back to the front of the store, she repeats the fucking restocking fee. (I consider charging her a "you wasted 45 minutes of of my time" fee.) I basically told her she was full of shit, and said to just give me the camera so I can go and find someone who can fire her ass. As I leave, I glance in the bag to see if everything is there. The camera is, the receipt is not. Goddamn asshat. I march back to returns and with contempt dripping from my voice I tell one of the employees there (as the supervisor had promptly slunk into the shadows to possibly reevaluate her purpose in life and update her resume) that it would help if they gave the receipt back to me. A 5 minute search finally produces it.

The supervisor appears. Without acknowledging me, she whispers something to the poor employee who witnessed it all and looks like they're gonna pass out, then disappears. The shell-shocked employee asks for the camera and receipt, and gives me a full the refund, without charging a restocking fee.

I was only allowed to prevail if I became shrill. One wonders if it was worth losing thousands of dollars worth of business over.

*name of store is not changed