WTF Sunday cavalcade
"You are a sex offender, and you did it to a child," said the judge. Horrendous, yes. Deserves prison time. Lots of it. The judge even says so! Alas, it is not to be.
"I truly hope that my bet on you being OK out in society is not misplaced," sayeth the judge, as she sentences to him probation. And without a shred of irony in her voice, I'm sure.
"That doesn't make you a hunter. You do not fit in that category," she muses. Why doesn't he fit into that category? Why, it's because he's too short. [tip: Twisty]
That's right. He might get picked on in prison, not because he's a child molesting sick sack of shit, but because he's not seen as quite the manly hunter type and oh GAWD the poor thing, that totally trumps protecting little girls and the rest of society from the likes of him.
Do not fear, you poor short child molesting dudes, help is on the horizon in the form of a poorly executed seque. You may soon be able to conceal not only your height, but conceal yourself altogether with the invisibility cloak. [tip: Gordo]
Brought to you by reasearchers who read too much science fiction and backed by the Pentagon, an agency with a similar detachment from reality, you can be assured that if anyone ever picks on you for your stature again, you can just don your cloak and seek revenge on a massive, unaccountable scale. Wow! Just imagine what 'Jason'[16] could do with that!
Cloaked in invisiblility, but without benefit of a creepy invisibility cloak, we make our next awkward seque into the world of hot news on totally hot people who are way hotter than you, as if you never heard that one before. What can be hotter than that? Why, they're reproducing! It's hotter than hot, I tell you! It's scorching! And they won't let us point 200 cameras at it to document the scorching hotness of the hot, hot newborn!
Yes, Brangelina is here, as if you didn't already know that, despite being stranded in the tundra for the past week. "Angelina Jolie gave birth to Brad Pitt's daughter Saturday in Africa", the AP notes.
Tomorrow: Brad Pitt, backed by the MRA, has Angelina arrested for keeping "his" daughter captive for 9 months. Since she doesn't fit into the category of short non-hunter, she gets the chair.
16 sorry volty dudes, no linky for you.
for the NNAF
5 comments:
Seriously, if anybody had asked me to wrack my brain for possible applications of invisibility technology, I never in 100 years would have come up with "pederasty."
Oh, I see where you're getting that. I was trying to make a vague "in the know" reference to a certain troll/site. Will edit to be more vague.
In a broader sense, the idea creeps me out immensely. Big brother and sickos and paranoia and "it's all in your head" stuff creepy.
It's no wonder testicles are so sensitive to pain. They're crammed full of fully formed humans!
Did you get linked by the 16 volt moron as well?! It really is trollarama at the moment!
laurelin: I think I saw them mentioned in comments on mouse's post. Then I looked further and saw what they did for "fun" on there. So while I haven't had that here, I am extremely perterbed to see it so many places recently.
Post a Comment