Rant of the day

Dear FepBlue,

It's really, really bothersome when you send me someone else's coverage disclosure certificate. They may need this to prove coverage for prior conditions when enrolling in a new plan. Like, right the hell now.

I wouldn't know, though. Through the wonders of internet phone directories, I've been trying to call the true recipient for the past day and get no answer or machine. Hopefully that's because they are out slaying health insurance executives for recreation, not because they are on life support or something.

It's also bothersome that I have someone else's insurance ID number. I wouldn't know what to do with it, but that's just lucky for them. Well, barring the whole life support thing, of course. Perhaps I will be just as lucky if you mail my information to someone else? Information security: it's like the lottery and you too may already be a winner!

Every time I go through something like this with a corporate entity, which happens almost monthly, it infuriates me to no end. I get to spend lots of time trying to correct your mistake. That is, of course, after Googling a phone number because your actual web site seems to be allergic to such things. After sitting on hold and finally being conntected with a human, of course, I'm often told it's not really your mistake. "It's a computer error, thanks for letting us know," you usually blurt out uncomfortably, before attempting to move on to your next timed incoming call.

Rarely, if ever, does someone acknowledge the larger problem without being walked through it by someone getting paid $0 to do your damn job. Is this person being denied coverage for medical services until they get this certificate? Are you overnighting them a new one pronto, or not? How does their information come to my house and what department care you going to refer me to who will act like they are going to look into this and make sure it doesn't happen again? How many insurance companies do I have to go though before I find one that doesn't display gross incompetence within 6 months? Do you really even give a shit? And aren't my trick questions not friggin' hilarious?

Health care. What an oxymoronic hoot, huh?

Hey, guess what, I'm driving half an hour to this person's home with the certificate. If they are not there, I will knock on neighbors doors until it gets into the right hands. I do not do this for you, healthcare capitalists, I do it because they might need this thing now, and you can't even pretend like you give a shit except in a damn ad campaign.

Oh, and bite me.