No Neanderthal Left Behind
Stepping in where evolution dropped the ball.
Neanderthal-in-Law, who knows only about sports, getting drunk, sponging off women, inpregnating women and taking off, avoiding the law, and bar fights, attempts to rub two severely damaged brain cells together and join an after-diinner discussion about movies. Alas, he is unable to contribute more than a primitive grunt during an exchange about "Crash" because he cannot relate it to his expertise in overcompensating for just about everything.
N-i-L, in that irritating 33 rpm slur that I call his voice, mentions a movie he's heard threatens his very survival; the reason he works so hard 24/7 at being a middle-aged deadbeat loser boor. "What about Brokeback Mountain?" He shakes his head at the travesty. "Hollywood is always trying to force their gay agenda on everyone." (I paraphrase, because try as I might, I cannot make it sound as idiotic as he did.)
I snarkingly assure N-i-L that he oozes stereotypical man rays. "Don't worry. Your anti-gaydar is on full tilt. No one with a penis will be remotely interested in hitting on you."
He nods in agreement at what he deems a compliment, swelling with validation in his manhoodliness.
Next time I'll just tell him he's a fuckwit.
for the NNAF
2 comments:
Excellent response to the NIL.
I was waiting for court the other day with two lawyers who I always thought were smart and reasonable, but conservative.
They were discussing how horrible it was for our kids to be taught that choosing to be gay was ok.
I asked them "Who on earth chooses to be gay? What wants to be ostracized and mocked?@!?!?!?"
Unbelievable.
Hi Will,
Thanks. I'm working on it. I was never good at confrontation of any sort. It is, very generally, a result of experiences that served to silence, and family/living environments that were harmonious. So, I have little past experience with it, and poor skills in articulating dissent well.
My husband grew up differently, witnessing a lot of discord. He did not adopt the behaviors, as many of his younger siblings did. He will tell them when they're being assholes. It helps me to be more honest, "taking chances", albeit in an environment where I know what the reactions are likely to be. My training ground for being more vocal and expressing it better when I disagree.
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