forTune Telling

Get it? Fortune? Okay, fine. Be that way.

Like everyone else, I saw this somewhere else. One of those places is Angry for a Reason.

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see you?
Another One Bites the Dust - Queen
(This is not a great start.)

Will I have a happy life?
My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama - Frank Zappa, Joe Satriani, Eric Johnson, Steve Vai
(Nope, not a great start at all.)

What do my friends really think of me?
Don't Go - Yaz
(This is nice, unless they're trying to keep me from saving my mom from being pummeled by Frank Zappa's guitar.)

Do people secretly lust after me?
September - Earth, Wind & Fire
(I guess 1/12th of the time is pretty darned good. I have September locked, suckers!)

How can I make myself happy?
I Still Believe (Great Design) - The Call
(I keep trying, but it's been hard the last 5 years.)

What should I do with my life?
Love to be Loved - Peter Gabriel
(Well, at least in September I will!)

Will I ever have children?
Freedom - Jimi Hendrix
(Since I already have chidlren, I can only take this to mean that they will move out when they turn 18. Yeah!)

What is some good advice for me?
Keep on Smilin' - Wet Willie
(Only if someone ends the nightmare that is the Bush administration.)

How will I be remembered?
Things that Piss Me Off - George Carlin
(Okay, if this means I'm a thing that pisses George Carlin off, I'm toast. Most likely it means that people will remember my pissiness, which should be obvious.)

What is my signature dancing song?
Takin Care of Business - BTO
(I admit, I saw BTO once, and I did dance. I was drunk at the time.)

What do I think my current theme song is?
I Heard it Throught the Grapevine - Marvin Gaye
(Lie. I never hear anything through the grapevine. What have people been saying?)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Positive Vibration - Bob Marley
(That sounds better than being offed by a Stratocaster.)

What song will play at my funeral?
Rock Lobster - The B-52's
(And why the hell not?)

What type of men/women do you like?
Synaesthetic - Blue Man Group
(Bald blue performance percussionists! Of course!)

What is my day going to be like?
You Can Make it if You Try - Sly & the Family Stone
(I tried. I still haven't made it. If I can just hold out until September.)