Gawd, I love Carolyn Hax
The answer to the first question would be classic Hax, except she didn't touch the "especially girls" comment, which is so very un-Hax-like. Perhaps she found the letter-writer so condescending that she went for what would more likely get through and make an impact, rather than completely roast them and accomplish nothing.
Oh, but mmmmm, I love a good roast.
Dear Carolyn:Dear Richmond,
Do you have specific advice for teenagers (especially girls) to keep them from premarital sex, or are you one who smiles and says, "You are not mature, but if you must, here is a condom." I need every trick in the book to make sure my kids never go down that road!
Richmond
If this is how you address issues with your kids, the best you can do is cross your fingers and hope they rebel against you. In this way, they most likely way they'll grow up honest, confident, compassionate, able to make good decisions for themselves, and will move far, far away from you.
Worry if they don't rebel. They'll screw up in some way, for sure, if not be completely screwed up. You will then most likely exclaim, with too much glee to everyone you meet, that you "knew they'd screw up", which says more about you than them, and not in a positive way like you think.
The "especially girls" comment is interesting. Why "especially girls"? Just who do you think teenage boys will most likely have sex with, if not teenage girls?
What do you think of those teenage boys who are usually on the other end of that teenage premarital sex? Surely you don't think the boys are more mature and thus don't need to be "especiall-ized"! Maybe you think boys are a lost cause, so you don't bother teaching them basic respect for themselves and others. Either way, you are not concerned with them. If they are so ultra-mature and don't need the extra special attention, then surely teen sex is not a problem and there is no reason for you to write in the first place. But you did write. So that leaves us with the idea that they are hopeless, and a waste of your valuable trick-in-the-book reading time. Then you send your daughter off to a school full of them.
Try this on for size. Male or female, the message is the same. Respect yourself. Respect others. Start by setting the example. Hint: a book of tricks never mentions "respect".
for the NNAF
3 comments:
The advice I gave my daughters about premarital sex was this. Don't do it. Because then you'll never know what you are missing when you are not in a relationship and don't want to go quick and not so easy.
i happened to see that one reading the paper...my folks had to ask what i was laughing about.
But it is most unfortunate that she didn't take on the "especially girls" part.
Maybe Richmond wanted advice especially for girls because he or she is raising teenage daughters.
That's unlikely, because in that case Richmond would probably have said "I don't want my daughters to go down that road." But maybe Hax was giving Richmond the maximum benefit of the doubt.
In any case, I probably would have given one of two replies:
1) In some cultures, a young girls' clitoris is removed, so that they will not enjoy sex as much, and will be less tempted. It doesn't work all that well, so be prepared to stone your daughters to death in case they give up the goods before their wedding night.
2) I recognized the name and address on the letter you sent. As for your teenage daughters having sex, you can stop worrying: that ship has already sailed.
PS: You really should teach them more about personal hygiene.
Post a Comment