Pop quiz time!

Fuck standards. Anyone's standards.

Hot or not?
Rad or bad?

or is all this just really fucking sad?

Instructions:
This is a timed quiz. You will have 3 minutes to rate 30 statements about me. Mark the corresponding bubble on your answer sheet with a # 2 pencil. Fill in the circle completely, without straying outside the circle, because straying is treasonous. If you change your mind, erase your first mark completely and consider yourself indecisive and therefore unworthy to judge others. This quiz will be graded on a strict pass/fail basis, and counts for a pure 99.44% of your final grade.

Without having to regard me as an autonomous human being with unique experiences, preferences, and goals in life, determine what each of the following statements Say About Me Emphatically, and score according to the following scale:

9 = Rad! (silly, there is no in between) 0 = Bad!

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Start!

1. I don't use cologne
2. but do use moisturizer
3. I don't shave anything
4. but do tweeze certain hairs
5. I don't wear a bra indoors at home, or on short trips out
6. but do wear a bra outdoors and on longer trips out
7. I don't wear make-up
8. but do generally put on spot concealer as needed when I leave the house
9. I don't wear nail polish
10. but do keep my nails trimmed
11. I don't blow dry, curl, color, or perm my hair
12. but do use hair gel
13. I don't use tooth whiteners
14. but do use mouthwash
15. I don't wear jewelry
16. but do think it can be appreciated aesthetically on its own
17. I don't think weddings are all that
18. but did have one and enjoyed it
19. I don't do blow jobs
20. but do have heterosexual sex
21. I don't wear heeled shoes
22. but do go barefoot as much as possible
23. I don't wear short skirts
24. but do love to wear cotton camisoles under button-down shirts
25. I don't wear hose
26. but do wear underwear
27. I didn't breast feed
28. but did gave birth vaginally
29. I don't spend a lot of time in the shower
30. but do bathe more than once a week

Bzzz! Time's up!

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Extra credit:
Tell me what exactly any of these things have to do with you.
You have all the time in the world.

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Scoring:

• Add up all answers according to the number you used to rate me.
  Remember, 9 points for each Rad, 0 points for each Bad!
• Divide the total by 30. This is your final score.
• Look the result up on the following chart to double-check your ability to judge:

0-1 Manxome is patriarchy's best customer and is ruining it for us all! Oh, and you can't stand snark.
2-3 According to you, you are way better than manxome. What a relief for you!
4-5 Obviously manxome is confused. Tell her what to do! Stat! After all, no one has done that in at least 2 hours.
6-7 Aw, always a princess, never a queen. If manxome keeps working hard to present whatever image is deemed appropriate by whoever is deeming things appropriate at the moment and attaching whatever meaning they are attaching to it this week, irrespective of her stubborn preference for making the best personal choices she can in a society that sells conformity for profit and true choice for none, maybe someday she can be queen. Right, and maybe you think she believes that, too.
8-9 Manxome is Rad-ified as Queen and Grand Poobah of the Feminist Purity Ball! Sacrificing ceremony at 5 p.m. Bring a covered side dish.
10 There's no such thing as a perfect 10, you fucking cheater.

Grading:
Yes, it's instant real time grading! Of you! Isn't grading others fun?

If you scored:

10 Bad! You've been expelled.
0-9 Sad! You get an F, for not getting it.

If you skipped the taking the test, believing that it's hypocritical to judge random women based solely on their individual choices and nothing else, which have squat to do with you anyway, no matter what group you do or do not align with, you get an Afucking+!

Extra credit: You're kidding, right?